I heart my mail subscribers!
So, some of you may have gotten a couple e-mails from me, while I was trying to figure out how to get you resubscribed, since I changed my blog’s name in January. (I figured out how to edit the feed, so you are now officially signed up again :))
I wanted to catch you guys up on what you missed around here. The links in this post will take you to some threads you may want to check out :D
In February, I shared how it felt to be an Amazon Warrior Monk Rockstar with my shaved head, and we also moved back into the RV and we found that Home is…
In March, I realized just how much of a Prodigal Woman I am, and it was Ready, Set… as we prepared to be done fulltime boondocking.
April brought Ahhhhh, Bliss. And it also got me thinking about Radical Curiosity (a rather deep and lengthy post that ended up being a runaway train at the end LOL).
So far this month, I gave The Home Tour :))), started getting serious about my Businesshood, shared my Shameless Confession-festo! from about a year ago, and introduced my friend SHINE! and his amazing love movement.
This may just be the longest short post ever :)) Happy reading!
Living this wild sacred life,
V aka Wild, Soul, Zen, or Hey You :))
Epic Success
(Written early December)
No matter how much I want to embrace the fact that this nomadic-dream-in-action was a classic “epic fail”, I can’t deny the success of my adventure. We may have logged few miles on our journey, but the living and learning was immence. I could provide you with a grocery list of experiences (and I still may), but the biggest success (I am learning as I read my journals from the 2 years before we set sail) is just the fact that I did it. Even now, in our broken down state, I am so happy we are here than the heavy mess of a life we had before. I was drowning in stuff — I remember (as if every journal entry for 2 years crying about that very fact wasn’t vivid enough to recall the hopelessness I felt). I am so immensely freakin happy about how much STUFF we have right now. You can only begin to imagine the implications of what I just said… unless you were pressent for the prcoessing of said stuff out of my life, or if you have done a similar journey of selling 98% of everything you own to live so incredibly simply — radical minimalists got nothin on me :)
I know, I know, I hear those folks talking, too, about how the external doesn’t matter — it’s all the internal. Bah! Maybe that is true for them, but it wasn’t true for me. I was drowning in responsibility and attachment, and releasing all that stuff from my life opened up space to spend my time and energy in ways that I wanted to. Changing the external absolutely healed the internal.
My other greatest success in this experience? Laughing at my epic fail. This truly was a fail of the most epic proportions for me. It has all the ingredients of “epic” and “fail” — I hyped this up so huge in my life, knew it was to be my crowning achievement in life and fell flat on my face. Hahahaha. That is hilarious! I’m glad I am laughing at myself before I hear the more pessimistic loved ones in my life do it first LOL
So, I failed at making a lifestyle out of free roaming the country… I succeeded at so much more.
I met the most amazing people from all walks of life. People who moved us and loved us and supported us, people who I didn’t want the conversation to come to end, people who I admired from a distance, people who are like my family, and people who filled me with hope and then flew away <3
I got out of the house in ways I haven’t done for as long as I can remember! Coming from a woman who was borderline agoraphobic, THAT IS SERIOUS SUCCESS! I experienced things I have only dreamed of (like taking my family to ren faire) and things I never expected (meeting pirates and wanting to be one of them!). I walked a jetti that changed my life, and spent some down time reconnecting with the beach and the ocean. I practically lived at the library and stepped outside of my old ways to coax a librarian into liking my wild bunch (rather than just hiding from her or avoiding the library entirely). I parked in a hotel parking lot where I was NOT a guest and comsumed a heavenly deluxe continental breakfast and lounged by their pool for hours afterward (eek! I still can’t believe I had the balls to do that!!!). I even kept my cool and found out it wasn’t as scary or uncomfortable as I thought when they approached me about my room number LOL I woke up to the ocean out my window, fell asleep to the sound of waves crashing, got a fireworks show out my bedside window. I became familiar with people I never would have approached. I loaned something important to a stranger with the understanding that I may never get it back. I opened up. I healed. I got balanced. I got more in touch with nature than I have ever before. I worshipped the sun (without forgetting the moon). I lost things I thought I would crumble without… and barely blinked. I came face-to-face with my weakenesses. I let shyt flow. I lived. I was alive.
I dreamed new dreams. Dreams of a Goddess Guild at the local ren faire. Dreams of pirate days with unschooling groups, and belly dancing classes for all ages and body types. Dreams of a winter cabin in the mountains as a cave with a little community of gardeners and animal-lovers we call home. Dreams of living the uber-light life of van & tent set-up — the best of both worlds: light & easy and spacious & ours.
That list is short because the “experience” list was so so long, and still not complete :)
I broke down more times than I can count, literally and *just* emotionally, and I got back up and started dancing.
I stepped into the flow and didn’t get burned alive.
I’m okay right now. I got through the hardest part. I’m on the other side, feeling a lot of the same things I did after my unassisted birth: the dichotemy of “I can’t believe I did that” and “Of course, I did!”, the dichotemy of “I f*cking ROCK!” and “That was just life, nothing special”, the dichotemy between “That was NOTHING like I expected” and “That was exactly what I knew it would be”, the dichotemy of “That was an epic fail” and “That was an epic success” :)) The truth, as is often true in life, is both extremes and anywhere in between, depending on the moment and the context :)
I guess this is an epic success because I am happier and more content today than I was a year ago, because I am still joyfully living regardless, because I feel stronger than ever before, and mostly because this isn’t the end — I still have a giant empty canvas waiting for me to paint my new dreams upon.
Epic Fail
(written in early December)
I love the story of the time I gave up my free townhouse and sold everything I own, to free roam…. north San Diego county?
Mwahahahahaha.
I have decided to get real with the fact that this mission, since I chose to accept it, was an epic fail. I hear that term a lot, like when my daughter draws 2 eyes too close together and ruins her whole picture, or when her friend sings an misses a note. But none of that is a great of magnitude as this giant leap I took that lost it’s air as soon as my toes touched the ground.
Before anyone feels the need to remind me that there is no failure, or this is just the beginning of something new, let me assure you that I’m there, I get it. That’s an easy story for me. I have resisted “failure” and being wrong for so long, that it feels so refreshing right now to turn and face this shadow and open my arms wide to embrace it. I’m not afraid of it. It’s not chasing me anymore. I can laugh – there’s no fear involved in it.
My mission, as I chose to accept it, was to free roam the country, to see great landscapes out my windshield, to meet my Tribe scattered everywhere, to experience a bucket list. I took a HUGE leap of faith, I experienced SO much to prepare myself for this, and I flopped. I couldn’t manifest it. I raced out of my house to play homeless in my own neighborhood. I got scared. I choked. I ended up with a broken down RV and a put-put-put actualization of adventure. I got reaquainted with the ocean and met some pirates and didn’t want to leave. I wanted to cry when I thought of leaving my loving friends and my brother <3
Our nomadic lifestyle became a year trip, which became a 6-month trip, which became 3 months, which became the option to take the trip without my oldest or stay local. I can’t travel without my roaddog. Not even an option. So here we are.
It got cold fast once we were out of the house. I’m hoping that Spring brings new birth to this dream, in some incarnate or another :) Right now, I want to climb into my cave and hybernate.
This has been infinitely harder than I thought it would be. It has almost broke me down more than once. I have had to try real hard to gleam the positive from it — I’m so proud of myself for my ability to. I have experienced things I never would have chosen for myself and my children, like the time we ran out of gas in a parking lot, broke, and got stuck there all day without our groceries which were in the RV, so I went to the surrounding food places and begged for free food for my kids. Subway was more generous than Wendy’s and more kind. Or the time I drove to 8 different stores to beg for free diapers for Najaia and got turned away 8 times, sometimes not so warm-heartedly. Or the fact that we spent Thanksgiving in a restaurant with people who lived on the streets. This adventure HAS broken me – it’s broken me down more times than I can count. Before this last weekend, I took about a half a dozen showers in 2 months.
This adventure hasn’t been pretty — it’s been hard work that doesn’t seem to matter (the RV), difficult emotionally and mentally. It has been me controlling my kids more than ever and losing my temper from the stress. I have had CPS called on me by my own family member, and the police called to check on the welfare of my kids twice by complete strangers.
I’ve been more uncomfortable than I have ever been in my life.
Is it too late to take back welcoming the unexpected in our adventure? Is it too late to take back welcoming opportunities to get real with the issues that are barriers in my life: namely, finances, friendships, and class.
I have gone to places that cater to homeless people to ask for help with things and realized I felt like I had to feel badly about our situation to ask for help from them, like I was afraid they wouldn’t want to help us unless we felt downtrodden and desperate. It gives me some SERIOUS food for thought about my feelings surrounding asking for help and support and such.
I have felt tired of doing everything alone. I’m about sick of being a single parent right now. Wish me luck finding someone who will understand our greatness and excitedly dive in :D
I remember a friend of mine explaining how she loved reading fulltime family blogs, because it seemed folks who lived on the road were so honest, so raw. That is SO true. I guess that when you find yourself talking about poop hoses on a regular basis and cherishing water like it’s gold and living life in the raw, you get real really fast.
What I love most about this blog post is that there is no judgment, no tears (anymore) over these situations or the giant epic fail in general. I am laughing as I write. I know that what is most important is that I am still dancing. Even whilst singing to the tune of my epic fail (the biggest anticlimax of my life, which is saying a lot, considering the fact that whilst shooting for a Ph.D., I am sitting on my BA and almost 50 grand in student loans), I’m dancing a jig as if I just scored a touch down! LOL I’m so weird hahaha.
I am sharing this post, regardless of the fact that I want to delete about half of it before publishing, because I want to give this giant failure of a dream manifested a big hug and a pat on the back and say, “You are SO awesome! You dived for your dreams, and when you fell to the ground, you got up laughing and didn’t regret or decide to go back.”
No, I may have failed at manifesting my “free roam the country as a lifestyle” dream, but I’m not getting back into a house! I almost thought that was what I needed to do, like “well, since that plan failed, I guess I need to…” No way.
I was feeling more lost than usual this past weekend (which is saying a lot, because I have felt lost a lot recently). I had no CLUE which direction I wanted to head. I thought I was going to need to pull myself up by my bootstraps, put my kids in daycare, get a j.o.b., start paying my creditors, and lay down some roots in a lease-locked box attached to the earth. I was so desperate for some advice that I called my mother… luckily, I got her voicemail. I ended up talking with my son’s dad. I just KNEW he was going to provide the fresh insight I needed, that he was going to be able to regurgitate the dreamspiration I have been filling him with since we met so many years ago. Since I’m pretty sure he doesn’t read my blog, it should be safe to say that I spent the first 95% of the phone call wondering why I had felt compelled to talk to HIM, scared I was more lost than I even imagined, and realizing REALLY quickly that although I didn’t know what I DID want, I was pretty clear on what I didn’t. Then he said it… He told me about when he was almost ready to cave in to pressure from his family to cut his dreads off so he could find a j.o.b. easier, and he had talked with another Dread, who told him something along the lines of, “When something is wrong, they always want you to cut yourself, as if that will make it all better. Then you can be like them. Don’t cut your dreads, Man.” And then the other 2% of the conversation he shared a quote by KRS-1. The part that stood out to me went something like, “Repeat your winning formula for success.” What has made me feel successful in the past? Certainly not conforming, working a j.o.b. to pay creditors. Haha, then I found this quote:
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.” – Ellen Goodman
Yeah, I’m not getting a j.o.b. I’m not cutting my dreads (what makes me me). My winning formula for success has been chasing dreams, and I’m gonna was, rinse, and repeat ;)
Last night I read this quote: “If at first you don’t succeed, redefine your purpose.”
A Blog Facelift
I have been wanting to give the blog a facelift, since the focus has shifted to reflect our new adventures in this wildcrafted life of our’s :)) Well, this morning I woke up with the words “big gypsy dreams” in my head. After promptly posting it as my Facebook status (and not being able to find my ipod), I decided to use my laptop and head over to my blog. I knew it had to be part of the title.
So, if you are viewing this via e-mail, come check out our new digs :))
p.s. – this makeover was WAY easier than the Gypsy Goddess’ make over :)))
5 Tips for a Mindful Marriage
And another guest post!!
5 Tips for a Mindful Marriage
Guest Blogger: Jessica Stilling is a freelance journalist who also writes on schooling online as well as taking classes online
So you still remember when the thought of that white dress made joyful butterflies bounce inside your stomach. You can still recall when dinner and a movie was the most passionate date on earth, but now, things are winding down. That honeymoon phase, the part before the kids became stressful and the job stepped in to take its proper place within the marriage, is coming to a close. This is a good thing, you’re not going to be living in fantasy love land forever and reality love land is just as enjoyable if you understand that reality love land is a different place from fantasy. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you exit that honeymoon phase and move on to the jobs and kids and school schedule phase of your journey together. I promise it will be just as good, if not better.
- Take time to communicate. When you and your spouse are standing across the great divide that is your kitchen in the morning, take a few seconds to discuss each other’s days, plan your schedules, see what the other might want to grab for dinner or watch on TV. You don’t have to be planning a romantic night out or discussing all the problems of the world to catch a few moments of couple time.
- Take time for yourself. Being a spouse and parent, an employee and a friend, or any of the other countless hats you wear, is going to take its toll. You have to learn to take time for yourself, even if it’s fifteen minutes after you get home from work before you start planning dinner. Take some time to reflect on your day on your own, this way you’ll be less stressed and more willing to deal with your family’s issues and your spouse’s needs.
- Take time for your spouse. Just like you should take time for yourself, you should take time for your spouse as well. Ask him how his day was, see if he wants to make any interesting plans. Let your spouse know that you’re listening, because it’s only when you’re truly listening that he’ll be willing to open up.
- Take time to cherish your family. Just like you need alone time and time with your spouse, your family will also bring you closer. Take time to watch the kids play on their floor if they’re very young, or go to your son’s basketball game together and have ice cream afterwards. This is the reason you’re together, this is what makes your life happy and so take time together to cherish it.
- Take time to understand and appreciate each other’s uniqueness. You did not marry a clone of yourself, in fact if you had, you’d probably not get along very well. Your spouse has a unique self, a self that you fell in love with because he was not like any of the other people that you’d ever known. Take time to cherish and understand that uniqueness. Also, allow your partner to see and understand the uniqueness in you. Sometimes as that honeymoon phase ends and life becomes life, we forget all the wonderful reasons we’re together, the reasons that are still prevalent if we take the time to see them.
One thread moves throughout these suggestions, time. Sometimes as life throws us curveballs and that job starts to take up more of our time, we forget to make time for the things that are really important. We forget to see the family that is right in front of us, or the husband who is also lover and confident and friend. It’s when we move through life, getting things done for the sake of getting them done, that we miss out on so much. That is why the key to a mindful marriage is making time for the marriage.
Striking a Balance Between Being a Wife and a Student
Today, I would like to share a guest post that I thought would apply to you, my dear readers :)) I hope you enjoy it as much as I did :)
Striking Balance Between Being A Wife and A Student
Author Bio – Shayla Ebsen is a professional freelance writer specializing in online media. Before becoming a full-time freelancer, she worked as a radiology technician and also spent a stint as a sonogram tech
Attending college is one of the best things you can do to advance your career, earn a higher income, and increase your self-esteem. Because of these benefits, women are beginning to dominate the college scene.
However, many women attending college are met with the unique challenge of striking a balance between being wives and students. This is a tough challenge to overcome for many female students who feel pressured to uphold the traditional requirement that wives are meant to put the needs of their loved ones before their own life goals. Having felt this pressure during my time as a wife and student, I’d like to share the unique challenges I faced to help increase the chances of your success in this venture.
Addressing Competition
A major challenge many wives face when attending college is competition with their husbands. Although many men show support for gender equality, some husbands feel threatened when their wives attend college to earn a higher degree than them. This can lead to household tension and even resentment between spouses.
One option to avoid this tension is to speak with your spouse regarding your decision to attend college before you begin classes. Express how important their support of this decision is to you and explain your reasons for pursuing the degree. It can’t hurt to also occasionally stroke their ego by saying how much you appreciate them and how proud they make you feel. However, be prepared at some point in the future for your husband to express interest in also returning to college as this regularly occurs.
Keeping up with Household Chores
Although household roles are changing, many wives still tend to such duties as laundry and dinner preparation. If you’re currently tending to most of the household chores, changes to the schedule should be made before you begin classes.
It’s very easy to become overwhelmed between household and school duties when attending college. As such, by asking your husband for assistance before classes start, you can avoid most of the stress. Another perk of this new household schedule is it may continue even after you’ve earned the degree.
Scheduling Family Time
Although earning a college degree may be extremely important to you, it’s also important to find time for family between homework assignments. If you’re spending every spare minute studying or working on group projects for classes, your husband will begin resenting the degree you’re trying to earn.
Try creating a weekly schedule of when you’ll study and when you’ll make time for family to avoid becoming consumed by class work. You can make this a personal schedule rather than sharing it with your husband to at least give the sense that you’re still being spontaneous rather than accounting for every minute of your time.
Striking a balance between being a wife and a student can, at times, be very difficult. However, if you remain true to your life goals and overcome the challenges are they arise, you’ll navigate through the stress and arrive as a stronger person on graduation day.
Our Wildcrafted Life
As you may have noticed, I like change and movement. And some of the readers of this blog know I am often transcending titles and names. So, having said that, I am changing the URL of this blog from thatunschoolflavor.blogspot.com to ourwildcraftedlife.blogspot.com
And I am changing the title of the blog from “Savoring That Unschool Flavor in Our Wildcrafted Life” to…
Also, I am combining my art, craft, and collections blog with this one — a one-stop-shop for me :)
Change of Purpose
This was going to be an artsy-style blog, for me to post snapshots of our lovely unschooling life, to add to the everyday-ness of unschoolers blogs. I love those moments that stand out in contrast to the more mainstream or conventional ways things are done. I had a group where I discussed the philosophies and sort of chronicled and processed stuff, but it is on a site that is going to start charging money, so I am going to leave there, and I guess I will post that stuff here. SO, I have a LOT of stuff I am going to be bringing over here. Bear with me while I figure out how to make this happen in MY way :)
That Unschool Flavor
Most of this blog will be typed by the screen of my iPhone, so enjoy the simplicity and abundance of moments :))
My friend gave me the idea for this blog name. We were selling at a craft fair yesterday, and there wasthis boy with wild dark curls and a big easy smile out front roughing around while waiting for his mom who was also selling at the fair. And my friend says, “Doesnt he just have that homeschool flavor about him?” Mmmmm, yummy. I love that flavor — it is wildcrafted (another new favorite word from yesterday), it smells like freedom and tastes like adventure and looks like joy and feels like creativity. Unschooling rocks.
I am so excited to find my own voice to add to the many unschooling blogs that chronicle this amazing liberating adventure that is unschooling. I am even more excited to finally find my own unique and perfectly perfectly me way of doing this: no added work or thinking on my part throughout the day, no forcedness about this blog. Just me and our simple life and me sharing the moments I capture in life that make me so appreciative of this yummy and exciting life. So, this blog will be An opportunity to savor the snapshots of those moments with that unschool flavor. I don’t plan to get much into the background and info and philosophy of stuff that is the foundation of our life and lifestyle choices, except where it is a part of the process. I have a ning site where I do all that with kindreds (www.freestyleliving.ning.com). This blog is for the bulk of our simple life: the living it :)). So, this is where I get to come share all those moments where I will step back and go, “This is so freakin cool!!!!!!” I am so grateful for our wonderful amazing life that is tailored to us. I love pulling moments out of our day and appreciating them and exploring them a bit, so here I will be :))
*** just a note: I got the word “wildcrafted” from a new friend’s business card. They create and sell natural products for the bath, body, and home. Their website is http://www.soulrayebotanicals.com
Wild Sacred Soul 